to say to a cop when you're pulled over...
I only had one officer Mr. Keg..
Back off Barney,
I've got a piece.
Want to race to the station, Sparky?
I know I was weaving, but I can't find the
On the way to the station let's get a twelve
You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!
Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in
Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?
How long is this going to take? Your wife is
Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you
just glad to see me?
I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has
a 3 for 1 special!
Yeah you can
see my license and registration, officer, but
could you hold my beer for a minute?
must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to
keep up with me! Good job!
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar
detector wasn't plugged in.
I thought you had to be in relatively good
physical condition to be a Police Officer.
Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided
to finish high school instead.
"Bad Cop! No Donut!"
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I
know there are cars around, that's how far I am
behind the other cars.
You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?
"Lets do it different this time... I will give
you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in
your mouth and blow"
Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS"
last week on TV?
Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture
next to my girlfriend's bed.
I bet I could grab that gun before you finish
writing my ticket
So, uh, you "on the take", or what?
Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police
officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at
least one of us does.
So, are you still crabby because your mamma
didn't let you play with your gun when you were
Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to
this .44 magnum.
When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you
smile for the video camcorder.
Is it true that people become policemen because
they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
Hey, you look
like that girl I fucked a few days ago...
Aren't you one
of the Village People?
want to see a trick? Look at your wife!