salesman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when he
sees a Navajo man hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long
and quiet, he stops the car and the Navajo man climbs in.
their small talk, the Navajo man glances surreptitiously at
a brown bag on the front seat between them.
you're wondering what's in the bag," offers the salesman,
"it's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife."
Navajo man is silent for awhile, nods several times and says,
Three guys work on a construction site. One is white, one is
black and one is Polish. The bell rings for lunch and the white
man opens his lunch bag and sighs deeply, saying, "If my
wife packs me a ham sandwich again tomorrow I'm jumping off
the building." The black guy opens up his lunch, glares
and says " If my wife packs me a ham sandwich again tomorrow,
I'm going with you." The Polish man opens his lunch, pulls
out another ham sandwich, and says "I'm with you guys."
next day the lunch bell rings. The white man opens his lunch.
He says, "Turkey sandwich. I love my wife." The
black guy opens his lunch. He says, "Chicken sandwich.
I love my wife. The Polish man opened his lunchbox, looked
stricken, and said "HAM AGAIN! See ya guys." With
that, he jumped off the building. The black guy says "
I feel sorry for him." The white man replies, "I'm
not, he packs his own lunch."
ENGLISH NOTICES AROUND THE WORLD!
Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers
'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not
person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time
regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the
hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in
boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose;
beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute
customers in strict rotation.
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live
together in one tent unless they are married with each other
for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the
opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby
be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed
as a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable
food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are
best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your
room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.