Being a man
definitely has its perks...
1. Your backside
is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms
are real. Always.
3. Your last
name stays put.
4. The garage
is all yours.
plans take care of themselves.
6. You never
feel compelled to stop a friend from having an
mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't
give a hoot if no one notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax
never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work
.. more pay.
12. You don't
have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you
retain water, it's in a canteen.
never glance at your chest when you're talking
16. New shoes
don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood,
ALL the time.
conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day
vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can
open all your own jars.
extra credit for the slightest act of
underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are
34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can
quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's
25. Three pairs
of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can
quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours
without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
28. If another
guy shows up at the party in the same outfit,
you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not
expected to know the names of more than five
30. You don't
have to stop and think of which way to turn a
nut on a bolt.
31. You are
unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same
hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly
usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet
and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
35. You can
"do" your nails with a pocket knife.
shopping can be done for 25 relatives, on
December 24th, in 15 minutes.
37. The world
is your urinal.