ten reasons to become a nurse:
1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren't as
2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms.
3) Needles: "Tis better to give than receive"
4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops...eventually.
5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases.
6) Interesting aromas.
7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear
orders in perfectly legible handwriting.
8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world.
9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends- at work.
10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter
what you do to them.
know you're a nurse if...
believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and
would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark
alley one night.
believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.
sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.
know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place
in town by heart.
can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.
everything can seem humorous ... eventually.
asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?",
you show them your shoes.
time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the
scissors and clamps in your pockets.
can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing
than he can.
carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait
for pharmacy to deliver.
refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing
and triggers "flash backs."
check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to
see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask
you to work.
been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another
table throw up.
notice that you use more four letter words now than before
you became a nurse.
time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three
of them on you.
can intubate your friends at parties.
don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own.
live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle,
to convince the physician is more difficult."
basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.
told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker
and to HOLLER if they need help.
microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water
checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't
sure of the answer.
find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery
can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner
break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.
avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that
they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day
sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on