Yes, being over
50 does have its advantages...
1. Kidnappers are
not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be
3. No one expects you to run into a burning
4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.
9. You can live without sex (but not without
10. You enjoy hearing about other people's
11. You get into a heated argument about pension
12. You have a party and the neighbours don't
even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no
matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with the elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is
finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
than the National Weather Service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down
to a manageable size.
21. You can't remember who sent you this.