YOU
MAY NEED A NEW PSYCHIC IF...
*
He keeps shaking black crystal ball and says, "Ask again
later."
*
Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"
*
Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last
week.
*
His idea of an "out of body experience" involves
whipped cream and women's clothing.
*
His spoon bending requires two pliers.
*
Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes."
*
During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or
"stand."
*
Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."
*
Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just
above your mom.
*
Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.
*
Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.
Biff went to a storefront psychic for some spiritual guidance.
"There seems to be a horrible, dark cloud surrounding me."
"I
know," said the psychic, "and for a hundred dollars,
I can rid you of it."
Biff
thought the fee was high, but, eager to be cured, he handed
over the money to the psychic. After pocketing the fee, the
psychic then pulled out a book of matches and lit one.
Then
Biff asked, "What do you call this dark and horrible
curse?"
The
psychic waved the match down behind Biff and said, "Mexican
food."
Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have
launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and
his discussing with his psychic.
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You
are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know
everything about you."
The
frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party,
or what?"
"No,"
says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."
Two
psychic healers meet in the street - "You're fine - how
am I?"
Where do fortune tellers dance? .....The crystal ball
What
trees do fortune tellers look at? .......Palms
When
two psychic friends met, one said:
"You
are fine. How am I ?
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