Things To Do At Walmart
Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they aren't looking.
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest
Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.
Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay
Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and
pick your nose.
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the
fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices
Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while;
and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper
A woman goes into Walmart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't
know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over
to the register. There is a Walmart "associate"
standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse
me sir .....can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
says , "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter
I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the
sound that it makes."
She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.
He said "That's a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel
and 10 lb. test line......It's a good all around rod and reel
and it's $20.00."
says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just
by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what
I'm looking for so I'll take it" He walks behind the
counter to the register. And in the meantime the woman farts.
At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is
no way he could tell it was her ... being blind he wouldn't
know that she was the only person around.
rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."
She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?"
He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the
duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"