WORKER DEAD AT DESK FOR 5 DAYS
New York Times 1-22-03
Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work
out why no one noticed
that one of their employees had been sitting
dead at his desk for FIVE DAYS before anyone
asked if he was feeling okay. George Turklebaum,
51, who had been employed as a proof-reader at a
New York firm for 30 years, had a heart attack
in the open-plan office he shared with 23 other
He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody
noticed until Saturday
morning when an office cleaner asked why he was
still working during the weekend. His boss
Elliot Wachiaski said: "George was always the
first guy in each morning and the last to leave
at night, so no one found it unusual that he was
in the same position all that time and didn't
He was always absorbed in his work and kept much
to himself." A post
mortem examination revealed that he had been
dead for five days after suffering a coronary.
Ironically, George was proofreading manuscripts
of medical textbooks when he died. You may want
to give your co-workers a nudge occasionally.
*Moral of the story: Don't work too hard. Nobody
I halve a
It came with
my pea see.
marks four my revue
dew knot sea.
Eye strike a
key and type a word
four it two say
am wrong oar write
It shows me
As soon as a
mist ache is maid
It nose bee
fore two long
And eye can
put the era rite
this massage threw it,
And I'm shore
your pleased too no
prefect in every weigh;
tolled me sew.
The Perks of Being
1. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
2. Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.
3. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
than the national weather service.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without sex but not without
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples
11. You get into heated arguments about pension
12. You have a party and the neighbors don't
even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no
matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is
finally beginning to pay off.
18. You can't remember who sent you this list.
The Magician and
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the
Caribbean. The audience would be different each
week, so the magician allowed himself to do the
same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot
saw the shows every week and began to understand
what the magician did in every trick. Once he
understood that, he started shouting in the
middle of the show.
"Look, it's not the same hat!" "Look, he's
hiding the flowers under the table!" "Hey, why
are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do
anything, it was the captain's parrot after all.
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The
magician found himself on a piece of wood, in
the middle of the ocean, and of course the
parrot was by his side.
They stared at each other with hate, but did not
utter a word. This went on for several days.
After a week the parrot finally said, "Okay, I
give up. What'd you do with the boat?"